I have discovered something about myself over the past forty eight hours that I have suspected for some time.
I am the Facebook Police.
I stole this expression from my father in law. It is used to describe someone who feels obligated to monitor what people discuss over Facebook. Before you view me as a CRAZY stalker, maybe I should explain.
When I see people airing their dirty laundry over Facebook for all the world to see, I get cranky. There is something tacky about it that just rubs me the wrong way. However, the most surprising thing is this phenomena is no longer reserved for bitter teenage girls fighting over Twilight. It appears to be happening more and more among adults who should know better. Which has caused me to pose the question: Why?
I have always been a strong believer in confronting problems in person. While I can appreciate that some people find this intimidating, I find that a direct approach is much more effective, kind of like ripping off a Band Aid really fast. The problem with arguing over Facebook is that it draws the conflict out, sometimes for days. This creates even more tension and the initial issue often gets lost amongst the mud slinging.
The other major problem is everyone can see what you are discussing so you get them popping their two cents worth in which is often unhelpful as it drags in even more issues, taking even longer to resolve. Also, just as an issue is about to be resolved, a third party can jump in and the fight starts again.
But my major issue with people arguing over Facebook? It is there forever. You can delete it, you can kiss and make up, but it is always there in the vast expanses of cyberspace. The issue will never go away. This lessens any chance of resolution and, because it is a public forum, forces people to take sides, sometimes permanently.
So, in response to observing this time and again, I have become the Facebook Police. When I see people I care about brawling over Facebook, I have a somewhat unique way of expressing my distaste for what they are doing.
This is where Destiny's Child comes in.
In 2001, Destiny's Child released one of the greatest songs of all time, 'Survivor'. This is a great song on so many levels, but the one line that has changed my life for the better is 'I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet, 'cause my momma taught me better than that'.
So now, when people are fighting it out online, I quote Destiny's Child to them, sometimes repeatedly, for many, many posts. It is getting to the point where soon all I will have to do is type 'Destiny's Child' to them.
This is all from a place of love. I don't want you to hurt someone so badly that you may never get that friendship or family relationship back. I have seen this too much recently so I am begging you, next time you sit at your computer screen to type something confrontational ask yourself:
WWDCD? (What would Destiny's Child Do?)