Wednesday, August 31, 2011

When to walk away

This blog has been a long time in the making. I have been trying to find a delicate way to write it, but have failed miserably so I have decided just to write uncensored and see what comes out. I do not apologise for my viewpoint, but I do apologise if people are offended or hurt for what I need to say.

Recently I have been faced with hypocrisy. People who, to the outside world, present themselves one way, but then, in their own personal dealings with their peers, behave in a completely contradictory way.

I am a person of bluntness. I am one of those people who you will always know where you stand with me. I would much rather know that a person didn't like me, or what I did than live in a fairy world where I thought everything was okay when, in reality, it wasn't.

I am also a person of honesty. My life is an open book, good, bad or otherwise. I have always believed that if you make mistakes, you should own them. I have made MANY! But I own them. And this is where my issue with hypocrisy begins.

I have had a few instances recently of people being hypocritical. People who have portrayed to the outside world a view of love and family being important, while, in reality, have done things which are to the contrary. While this has hurt, it has left me wondering why. Why would you do that to people you profess to love? Why would you do that to anyone for that matter? It has left me with a feeling of not only confusion, but has challenged the beliefs I have held for most of my life.

In case you haven't figured out by now, I believe in God. I am reluctant to say I'm a Christian, because I don't go to church and some of the dogmatic views of religion I believe are not what God means. But that is for another time. The one belief I have always maintained is forgiveness. Everyone stuffs up. Everyone hurts someone at some point in their lives, whether they mean to or not. Humans are imperfect. So I have always believed in forgiveness and second chances. People have been gracious enough to forgive me and give me a second chance, and I want to do the same.

I am now struggling with this belief.

Is there a time when you can't forgive anymore? Is there a time when the hypocrisy is too overwhelming, that continuing to forgive means you are actually excusing their behaviour?

I work in a facility where I constantly work with people with mental illnesses. These people can be challenging, and sometimes rather brutal. Yet these people are not in control of their actions or words, so it is easy to forgive them for these actions. But when people in my life behave in this manner constantly without having any impediment, it does start to make me wonder how long grace should be offered to them.

As I have blogged before, I refuse to complain about people and their actions on the Internet. So if you are waiting for a specific example with names, then you shall be waiting some time. But in saying that, when communication breaks down, when you have tried everything to sort out the colossal mess, is it okay to just walk away? By nature I am a person who likes to resolve things. This is not always a positive thing because it does mean that all the ugliness is out there, but at least it isn't sitting in the background festering.

So my blog readers, what do you think? Is there a time to walk away, leaving things unresolved? Is it okay to not forgive? How do you deal with those people in your lives that just make you wonder why you continue to have them in your lives?