I have been conducting an informal survey of wives and what they wish they could tell their husbands. This was triggered by a follower of my blog asking me to write on this topic. I asked a variety of wives from different ages, backgrounds and who have been married for various lengths of time and then collated the results. So this is for you and every other wife out there.
1. We get dressed up to go to the grocery store because sometimes that's the first time we have been out of the house in days.
This is particularly true for wives with small children. This time of our lives features a lot of t shirts, jeans, trackpants and pyjamas. Oh and body fluids that aren't our own. Sometimes we just want to feel pretty and for the rest of the world to view us as such. So yeah, we may take a while to get ready, and you might not mind going to the store in your crusty clothes, but we will feel better if you just let it happen without complaining.
2. Don't ask us where something is unless you have actually looked for it.
This was a comment made by almost every wife surveyed. There is nothing more irritating than having you ask us where something is when you haven't even looked. And not a man look, when you just open the fridge and expect it to jump out and bite you. Move things.
3. 'I invited people around and they will be here in an hour' makes us stressed.
This triggers a stress switch in our brains. There are key parts of our house that need to be cleaned before people show up, even if they are already clean by your standards. Also we will have to feed them which generally means cooking. And we will need to make ourselves look presentable. It doesn't matter who they are, these things need to happen and they take time. An hour is not enough time. Especially if you are arriving with them!
4.Comparing us to your mother is unfair.
According to the mothers surveyed this also annoys them. We are not your mother. Your mother is not us. It may result in us saying 'then move back with your mother'. But I have it on good authority they don't want you back.
5. Pick up after yourself.
Funnily enough, your socks magically making it back into your drawer clean and folded has many steps. Leaving them on the floor is not one of these steps. If you need to know the steps, ask by all means but learn fast.
6. Appreciate us.
This isn't about grand gestures or even giving us stuff (although stuff is good) this is just about telling us you appreciate what we do. It may seem small to you, but it's big to us. We are compliment vampires that can continue to do mundane things purely if we are appreciated.
These are just the common ones that I have heard from the surveyed wives. Please tell me ones you think should be included. I'll add them here if you comment on Facebook (where most of the commenting takes place!). Also if there is a husband who would like to contribute a blog about what husbands wish they could tell their wives let me know!